I found what I was looking for

It was 2011, that was the last time I actually found my way. Now, jump forward to the present day and now you know how long it has been.

Been? You say Been? But Been where? Exactly, WHERE is what I am looking for and I is what I want to find. That is why I am here then. To tell you my story. But story is a word that doesn’t represent the meaning I wish to convey. But, for all intentional purposes let’s use the word STORY.

When I first realized that “I” wanted to know who I (this shell of a body stick figure) was I had the most profound thought.  If “I” want to know who I is then that is 2…as in number two, 2. That made me realize that 2 is inside this shell. But two what? What? Another question to answer. I realize there are too many questions and not enough answers. That is what I am here to tell you.  I can show you the way to the answer. But it is not a physical place it is a ….This is the tricky part.  If you want to name, a none physical place, that must be just so magnificent on its own and you want to put a tiny little group of letters together to describe what would you want to tell is not the way to proceed.

So we need a simple “word”. Hmmmm….let’s see. How about Nevaeh? OK. Nevaeh is the none physical place that needs to be found.

There are two direct paths you can take to reach that destination.  Death or something even better. The something better way has to be the way all would want to get there. Be able to get there and still be alive is magical.

I now want to take the time to introduce you to “I” and “self”. Hello (visual a cute little wave.)

We (that means “I” and “self”) are on this journey together with you (hey you, the person reading this). Yea, I actually am making it a point to point (wink) out that YOU the reader are part of this “STORY”.  Jump in and make yourself at home within my very tiny of a world.  Even if it is for just a little cup of tea.

Now we are at the point where We tell you about why there is a We.  Remember I said that We are “I” and “self”. It’s easy to be We. It doesn’t require much thought. But when you actually begin to think…to think about Who am I and Why am I Here? That is a totally loaded question.  Makes the head shake on this shell.

We:  “I” and “Self”.  One is better, right? If so which one? And One of what? If it has to be One of something then it has to be a SOMETHING.

Ok, now this is going to go fast so pay attention.  I thinks that Self is better, but better than what? What, WHAT? Why does, I think it and not Self. One may think that I and SELF are better together. But as soon as you put them together they will begin to divide!

Always wanting to divide down to the smallest of smallest things (again, here we go with the work Thing…what thing??) down to atom, nucleolus, protons, newtons and just when you think you are at the smallest of small can go it is realized there is a smaller particle: The Quark. WOW! I’m not an educated scientist so this does BLOW MY MIND.

This only proves that when you think you are down to the absolute zero the thought begins that consumes all of this. It is with out end!

What we are all looking for is what We are trying to explain. There is nothing to look for.

So back to the title…I found what I was looking for… and the answer was NOTHING.

PS – I have more. There is more to this four little word Story. Wait and see.

Life is like a flower-basket

Looking at any type of flower-basket you see it as a whole or single object. It is beautiful! It can be any type of flowers and when arranged perfectly the project is complete as one beautiful flower-basket. This is how the world should work.

Imagine people as the different flowers in the world.  Growing in groups of similar types.  However, when another flower starts growing with another group it looks beautiful.

As the flowers embrace each other we as people should embrace each other.

The earth, the ground, the buildings, the electronics can be represented by the foam that holds the flowers in the flower-basket together.  All particles working together to form a whole and accept others into the foam. The flowers and the foam accept each other and work together to do their part.

Let’s take cities: streets, buildings, signs and many different type of people.  It can be any type of people…a group of teenagers or all politicians or all the people of one block.  Wouldn’t it be great if they all worked in perfect harmony just as the different flowers and a piece of foam in a flower-basket.

Look at that beautiful flower-basket.  The different types of flowers all standing in their arranged place. The foam holding it in just the desired spot. Now look at a city.  Wouldn’t it be nice if every thing in that city worked together to create something beautiful? Is it possible?

Imagine all the countries of the world being the flowers in the basket.  Isn’t it nice to see all those different flowers looking so beautiful and wouldn’t it be great if that feeling you just had was possible for the earth to achieve.

When you look at a flower-basket again in the future stop and really look.

If someone is arranging the flowers in the basket is it possible for someone to be arranging the weather, people, and even cells to work together?

To be continued…

The Awareness of Eva

Book 1

When Beth first discovered Eva they recognized each other immediately, although neither one of them knew why. Then all of a sudden the past 30 years worth of history was erased and a new alternative reality existed. A new reality where humans learn to merge with their inner spirit.

Beth had headphones on and was dancing like no one was watching. While dancing she had a sudden chill go through her like there was someone else in the room right beside her staring.  Beth was afraid to look anywhere but forward.  Because, she knew, that if she looked in any direction she would not be able to see any one around her.  That lonesomeness is what scared her the most. At least she thought that.

The sensation that Beth was having is difficult to describe in any language or feeling. However, to try and describe it is when one is so at peace with themselves that they then begin to mediate and get into the deepest consciousness.  While “in the zone” Beth had all of her senses heightened and felt numb at the same time. In that little space of heightened awareness Beth first met Eva.

Eva existed within the mind of Beth.  Eva was not a physical person and or human. Beth could hear Eva, she felt Eva but she just couldn’t see her. She knew Eva was inside her.  Part of her. Like another soul in her body.

That first meeting of Beth and Eva is what caused James to have to initiate a world wide knowing of human’s extra inner soul.  Each soul belonged to a Charter in the World.  Each Charter had Chapters and Kings.  Souls were grouped and identified by similar unique thoughts.

What had been planned since the beginning of human life was about to become known to each human that lived on the Earth today.

The Curve

The goal is for you to understand that this is a time travel adventure. An adventure worth your precious seconds. Once you begin to understand we live in one single universe then you could also compare the current time zone to the bottom parallel bar. We can vividly view in our minds what a parallel bar looks like and then you realize you know it consists of two wooden poles :parallel bars. Let’s agree the bottom parallel bar represents the current time zone/universe then lets assume the top bar represents an alternate time zone/universe. What would happen if these two time zones would start to bend inward onto each other. What happens when they collide? That is what we are going to discover.
Anything can occur when the two zones meet. Life can continue to move forward as one combined new world or life for both worlds will travel forward on the alternate’s previous zone. They (the top parallel bar) would actually travel back in time but on the alternates zone (the bottom parallel bar) and begin to move backwards in time (in the alternates time). This of course creates some interesting options.
Five adults (2 couples and 1 single friend) venture out one night which leads to drinks, drugs and discoveries. One by one each of the friends keeps having deja vu. Soon all five adults are enlightened with total recall of what happened actually happened before and they begin to share their stories and discover The Curve is occurring.
The Curve is when both parallel universes take a turn inward towards each other. Life as they know it today will not exist if The Curve is successful in connecting both worlds. Mass confusion everywhere will exist till finally the war is lost. The two separate parallel universes mixing all the different people plus technology is not a good solution. As strange as it seems that a separate parallel universe will exist, the group of friends will do what is ever needed to help create a shift to prevent future doom if the two stay connected. They would rather live knowing an alternate parallel world does exist then be involved with what happened when the collision occurred.
Tension rises when a couple of the friends liked the life that was created when the two parallel universes collided. They liked how their alternate selves were smarter, richer and sexier. They don’t want to be a part of making the change back to regular Pre-Curve time.
The Five friends must use their new combined knowledge to create a second Curve (of the 2 parallel universes). They must work together to change the direction of The Curve away from the current zone. To accomplish this they will have to pull apart the currently combined two universes with their special key.
 Today the parallel universe exists beside them. Secrets and greed, keep the possibility of The Curve occurring again, alive. The future lies with the decisions and key that the 5 friends hold.

Frozen Embryo

I would like to start with assumption that an embryo already exists.  I don’t want to battle about how or why or what caused this embryo to exist.  I want to discus about after the embryo is made what could happen. About what happens to the embryo itself and the future people involved.

There are two paths that I think could be very interesting.  The first one being that men and women will create an embryo upon meeting rather than waiting to decide when they want to have a child. The second path I also think would be interesting to warrant discussion would be someone today creating many embryos with their specifically modified genetic material for the future plan of bringing the embryo to term.

Wouldn’t it be strange to think the custom exists where generally man meets woman and they date, marry and then one day decide if they want to have a child? Well, it does to some.  Some others have varying opinions. But what if in the future a person will decide when they are young and healthy to create an embryo immediately.  That embryo will be meant for use in the future when they are ready to raise a child that they will then use that embryo created with their younger, healthier couple. People do it now but with other intentions.  People who know they will be receiving cancer treatments might create an embryo to use later when the cancer person is healthier.

What if it becomes generally acceptable and normal for a young individual take action and create that embryo before it was necessary or for a valid reason?  What if it was common place today? An example could be for my 17 year old daughter and her also young boyfriend in an early relationship to immediately freeze an embryo? They would freeze that embryo now with today’s younger, hopefully healthy, selves with the possibility they might decide to use that embryo for the creation of life?

It could be the year 2040, when they are 43,  that they would then use that embryo created back in 2015.  Wouldn’t that be a strange way in the future to create life? It is weird to think about what will occur in the future that will seem so normal (like mobile phones today)  but now would seem totally unbelievable.

The second path to discuss is more like a story from a paranormal book. However, it is still a path worth considering as a possibility. Let’s assume that today, someone, somewhere, is freezing embryo’s they created for some future purpose. Almost like a plan someone created from beginning to end taking over decades to complete.

Now imagine a future world where this person decides to develop and create a large population of similar people. This opens a whole black hole of ideas of what that population would be used for. I have no idea what it would be. I’m curious about the possibilities that it would hold for society.

It isn’t like cloning because it is not a whole group of the exact same embryo.  I am talking about common genetic embryos developed into adults all in a similar surrounding. So, just so we are clear: similar NOT a clone. The group of adult people these embryo’s become would be almost too scary to even think about. That type of devious behavior that we would assume it to be could be could also be used for good.

All of these frozen embryo’s lying in wait.  Waiting for someone to decide what to do with them. Will someone use an embryo to create a child that they wish to care and love? Or, will someone with 1,000 willing woman, ready to carry from birth till adulthood, inseminate the next group of…?

These are just two personal ideas.  Now image all the possibilities that exist out there for all the current and future frozen embryo’s to be. I haven’t even thought about the whole stem cell possibilities.  I’m thinking about the ways people could possibly use frozen embryo’s for various reasons that haven’t even been thought about yet.

Or were they?


This story is actually about you the reader. You can be anyone in the world at any age reading this right now and this is truly about you. The main point I wish to convey here is that this is not about me or some celebrity or some past political figure or the President.  This is about (what ever you call yourself) YOU.

The one and only YOU in the whole entire universe The only one who knows you personally and everything about you.  There can be only ONE YOU and well, that my friends, is YOU.

Okay, now that we have the main point across and understood that YOU are someone and I am someone then I guess we should greet each other formally.  Hello YOU, my name is I and it is a pleasure to finally meet. I don’t meet many other people so I am anxious to learn more about YOU.

Isn’t it great that we found each other? It is very strange don’t you think? Why would we have any reason to ever meet? Do you also realize I am asking a lot of questions? Why is that?

I don’t have many answers.  I’m sorry, if I mislead you.  I won’t be here for long so I wanted to know if your curious about reading anything more? That makes for a good reminder that I am speaking directly to YOU the one who reads.

I am here to remind YOU that YOU are a special person. You are unique and special and one of a kind.  Without YOU there would be a void. A void so dark and mysterious that makes one crazy for thinking about, how strange would that would be.

YOU have been found. I know you. I know you can sense that I really do “know YOU”. But, how can that be? I know you are asking yourself that. Let me tell you why:  Because we are connecting on a different level which to be fully understood at this time by anyone, about another dimension mixed with a sixth sense ability, is not ready to accept the concept.

Once many YOU’s start creating what “YOU’s” think is acceptable, average and normal is when a real shift will occur. YOU want to know what shift it is that I am taking about? Of course you do or we still wouldn’t be having this strange reality stroke of acknowledgement.

On a behind scene’s play all of the neurons and transmitters and quarks in YOUR brain are, yes currently are working on overdrive. They are working hard to communicate to YOU to help you understand that we really do understand and acknowledge that we really do know that we have met.  Not only have we met but maybe we even met before?

And there it is. The shift. When your mind begins to spin and YOU feel dizzy and slow and the buzzing in those ears will not stop. That is the point when the real shift will occur to YOU for possibly the first time. What is even more amazing is that we and many others are in “the shift” together.

Together as a group we welcome you. YOU are among the very few to belong to an elite force that can not even have a name. YOU will not believe what can be accomplished now.

Can you understand how many YOU’s there are out there? I can’t. At least I can but can’t fully understand that it was/is possible. Why would YOU care about me? I am no one. No one important to make any difference. Nothing could change if things were done differently.

But we can’t turn back time. Or can we? (that’s a whole other discussion) So since we can’t turn back time can we begin today what we want achieved tomorrow or next month or next year? That also is a very interesting subject that should be saved for another time.

I have to wonder? Are YOU still there? I hope you are because it would nice to finally tell you something. Have YOU guessed it?

YOU have been found by I.YOU were once one of the “I”s. However, since you began to understand about the shift “I” didn’t exist and only YOU existed but as a GROUP of YOUs. It is tremendous what YOU/I can and will do.  What we will do. WE=YOU + I.

Just a minute. Did you realize what was stated: YOU + I. But YOU were once an I. So if I WAS you than YOU equals I. WE ARE THE SAME.  Simple math.  C=A+B.  YOU =A  and I = B.  But since we met before and YOU was I…A=B or B=A.  WE= C. We is the concept yet to be really fully understood.  Maybe one day.

It’s nice to have been finally found, or am I?

I can’t wait when you realize that in the equation where YOU+I means (YOU+I again!) we HAVE MET BEFORE. Therefore, FOUND.

The 2nd Time I Saw Jesus

This occured back in the early 1980’s. I was around 12 years old and with my church youth group (Lutheran) headed out on our (and my) first overnight trip to another church. I was settled into my own personal yellow bus seat with the famous green leather seat covers.  We were a small group of about 10 youth and 6 adults.  My Mother was one of the chaperones to accompany me and my younger brother.   I remember the day perfectly. I saw it on the day it happened and I can still picture it in my head today the same way it looked back then. Till this day I still look for a repeat.

I know and remember it was going to be a long ride to Philadelphia and onto New York City. I was trying to get comfortable in my seat and chatted a few times with my Mother and the boy sitting in front of me.  Out of all the people that went on this trip I really only recall my Mother and this other boy who I will call Jim. I can’t even remember anything about this trip that included my brother. Very Strange.

Jim and I were in the same grade school and in the same Sunday School Class.  We we knew each other well and so did our parents. We sat with our backs to the windows so we could prop up our legs on the seats.  Both our arms were propped up on the tops of the seats and this gave us prime viewing of everyone in the bus and out the windows to sight see. I should explain this to some younger readers because back in my day before electronic gadgets to occupy our time with our heads down to the world we had to actually use the neck muscles to hold up our head and look right and left and all around us when out and about in a new and different place than your normal town of 355 residents.

I did grow up in a small town but was in no way a “small town girl”.  From as long as I could remember all I wanted to do was get out of the valley. I wasn’t going to be a secretary I was going to HAVE a secretary. I grew up watching rated R HBO movies and rocked my Madonna style.

I went to Sunday School (pre church time) and Church pretty regularly till I was confirmed and moved out to go to college. I always grew up with a strong faith in God and the belief that He is always with me and life will be fine all the time because he is always in me too.  My Mother is the reason for my faith.  She loves and trusts in God so much even when she had been dealt some of the most devastating life events. Still, her faith guides her.

I prayed mostly when I was scared and in trouble.  I would pray for God to let me die before morning so that I wouldn’t have to face the next day.  I had a difficult childhood and would pray constantly for things to get better. At the time I didn’t think my prayer was answered.  Now, looking back 40 years I can see that God did answer my prayer for my family to just love each other.  I never thought it possible as a teenager yet here in 2015 we all love and care for one another. One would think we are a different family than what we were back then.

When this youth trip was planned I was so excited.  I got to go away from my “terrible”  life and go have some fun. When I was having fun I didn’t think much of God.  Yes, I was on a church youth trip but nothing churchy was going on and it was just a great fun trip away. Away from my troubles and away from my small town and away from the small minded people in my life.  I feel bad for saying that I didn’t think much about God.  It isn’t like I didn’t love God anymore.  I just didn’t have him for-front in my mind. I knew he was there and would be forever so I just went along my happy times mostly without thanking God that Thank goodness they were not bad times.

So heidi-ho and away we go! We have all been traveling on the bus now for about an hour. I LOVED looking out the windows.  Everything sparked interest in my brain. I was excited to see and learn. I wanted to be the first on to always point out “hey, look over there”.  I was in the constant search to find something, anything that “I” could be the one to point out and get the satisfaction of being the first to see it and show it to everyone.  Not everyone was as excited to see retaining walls.  Imagine?! They also were not as excited to see the view of our valley from the top of the mountain. But, when I saw a man, dressed in a robe, holding a staff with sheep surrounding him in-between the two highways on the green grass I wanted to make sure EVERYONE SAW HIM!

I stood and I pointed and said “There is Jesus!”.

This was the early 80’s and cars are busy driving all over and no one is stopping. This was no REGULAR man standing in the middle of these two highways.  I just KNEW the man was Jesus!

How do I know for sure? Because there were only two of us on that bus that saw Jesus and we were all looking at the same location.

If, this man wasn’t Jesus, then why couldn’t anyone else see him standing there? Why couldn’t they see the sheep? I asked “don’t you see all the sheep?”  I was worried they might run out on the road and get hurt.

Me & Jim.  We were the only two to see Jesus.

(not finished)

Take Time To Breath

Before you start the next paragraph take this minute to just relax your shoulders, focus only on the screen and try not to listen to any sounds around you or inside your mind. Now, take a deep breath into your lungs and hold a second.  Now let go.

Let go of everything that has been wearing you down. There is no need to hold onto anything that is physical or mental. If given the option to carry a 50 lb weight or nothing what would you choose? Well, I know I would choose to walk around life without that 50lb weight. Then why do  most of us carry around mental weight? Did anyone ever tell you to drop that extra mental weight? Well if not, I am telling you “put down the mental weight”. You? Yes, YOU!

Time to center ourselves again and focus only on a deep breath.  See how little by little the less mental weight you are carrying. Isn’t that better?

If we can take the time to center ourselves and let go of some mental weight then we can learn to breath. When we learn to breath we can begin to enter the state of your mind and then reflect. Reflect on if this is what you want to be doing or if what you are doing is reflecting?  You may soon realize that you put yourself in a little circle in and around yourself. It can become a very dizzy, spinning mental state if you don’t take some precious time to breath.

Are you a person who is constantly spinning in their mind? If so, then learning to breath is a great little practice that can be done by anyone and anywhere. And the best part it is FREE. This is obviously something that should be taught to little children throughout adulthood so that a new generation of active mindful people are engaging in real life pursuits.

Releasing the extra mental weight and learning to breath is a practice that I don’t believe most people actually do. One can hear about meditation and yoga or mindfulness or numbness and think “that’s easy, I can do that anytime”. But then one never gets around to actually doing it because they are so busy.

Well I give you the permission now to just sit and close your eyes and take some time to breath.

Does Middle Mind Exist?

It is a simple word or term…Middle. For example you can have two roses and a torn in the middle. But I don’t want to talk about the middle of anything physical.  I want to talk about the middle of your mind. The place that isn’t known where to exist but remains with your physical self at all times. The physical part of the self I like to refer to as The Shell.

Without the Mind are you, You? Without the Shell are you, You? Or, can You only exist with both the You and Shell?  I believe that either can exist on their own. The part that I think is so fascinating is the You without the Shell. The Mind. What a beautiful and yet so unknown to exist. It is time for everyone to get more into their Mind.

If we take just a moment to reflect on just the Shell.  The Shell is a busy place with action everywhere.  The Shell just have skin and bones, blood and water, heart and brain. All of these things are busy trying to get you from point A to point B. So the Shell has plenty to do on its own and why it should be examined for being what it is.

To get to the Mind you first have to learn how to focus on it.  You need to try and relax.  Take time to take some deep breaths in and out of your lungs. Try to be still.  Try not to focus on anything around you. Imagine that nothing is around you and you are all alone. Now block out all sounds, ringing in the ears, pain, tension going on and focus on just the Mind. Can you picture yourself inside your body and in your brain? You may start out by feeling and reacting to your whole body. Now try and focus on something inside of that, like your heart.  Feel your heart beating. Just the beating of your heart and nothing else. When you have that position of focus on your heart slowly start to go up your body from your shoulders to your neck to your brain. Are you there? Can you find your brain?

Now that you have finally found your way to your brain it is time to look at different parts of it.  Can you concentrate on just he front of your brain? This time try and focus on the base of your brain in the back of your head.  Now take some time to try this for a few minutes just going back and forth from the back of the brain to the front of it.

Were you able to notice that you can reflect on the different parts of your brain? Well now is when you get close to the Middle. This is the point so close to Middle but very difficult to get to. However, it is possible.  To know that it is possible only makes the theory almost fact that there is the point of the Middle.

Many sensations then to occur at this point of discovery.  Flashes of bright light are seen even though your eyes are closed. Ringing in the ears occurs from a high pitched sound to a low level tone. Your body may also slightly relax and twitch and you may experience a pain in the back of your throat.

When all these things have occurred you will find yourself at the middle of your Mind.

Not finished…be back later